Beauty for Ashes…
POSTED AT 03:31 PM in This funny thing called life

bungi

The ways of the Lord amaze me. I usually do not understand anything when in the moment. I guess a lot of people do not understand either. Now looking back at what has happened over the last month, well... I stand amazed.

He has His ways of working in us and moving us. When I did not hear from the people that first interviewed me, I was disappointed. On the one hand, I couldn’t think of continuing with my present organization. On the other, I really liked that organization that interviewed me and really, really wanted to join in.

A couple more interviews. A couple more promises that they will get back to me. Finally, the people from my third interview did get back to me. I was not very keen on the second place of interview for various reasons. I liked the third place – an organization into micro enterprise and financial services for women. Although the nature of the job is different from what I have qualified for, I know I can handle it. And this is a new opportunity.

Above all else, I have the sneaky feeling that this is what God wants me to do. Like this is what God has been preparing for me. All that happened at my work place, the other interviews, and this job… It was all planned ahead.

Oh by the way, the first interview I attended, I got through… they got back to me – one day after I signed the contract with this organization.

Wish I were perfect..
POSTED AT 03:33 PM in Ramblings

bungi

I wish i were perfect. I wouldn't have to be upset over my goof-ups then, 'cause there would be no goof-ups if i were perfect.

Well, now that i am not perfect what do i do? I get frustrated with the way i let down people, fail in my duties, and do a lot of other stupid things...

Guess the only way  out is to depend on God. He alone knows me intimately. He knows me more than i know myself - with all my failures and strengths. What more? He has the power to forgive me and give me a brand new start. He loves me with the perfect love. He doesn't condemn me.

"My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him."

Life @ work
POSTED AT 03:35 PM in Ramblings

bungi

Going through each day is becoming an uphill task. I am happy as long as I don't have to come to work. I find no joy in this work any more.

I don't know whether it's because I have been here too long, or due to the lack of challenges, or the internal politics that's happening here. Well, what ever it may be, I have lost the zest to work here. Time to change, I suppose. Or may be its past that time. I should have changed long ago.

I don't know where I should go from here. There is this apprehension welling up in me. I do not now if I can do something else - whether I will be good enough or will i be just all-talk-no-work sort of person. Well, I guess I am beyond all that now. It's get-out-of-here-no-matter-what kind of situation now. Guess it is time to grow. To stretch betond what I am used to.

I shall wait and see what comes out of this situation. Actually, I should wait and see how i emerge from this situation.

Restoration
POSTED AT 03:35 PM in Thoughts

bungi

And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

1 Peter 5:10

The way of the Lord is beyond our understanding, isn’t it? He is not interested in just building on what we already have. He is not into improvising. Suffering is not mere exercise where we do weights or push-ups to strengthen our faith muscles. It is more like being put in a mortar and crushed by a pestle.

There is no escape from it. When inside the mortar, when there is no route for escape, when we cannot turn anywhere else but to Him, there the restoration begins. He starts building us from the scratch – from where we are. The beauty of the whole thing is, He himself will restore us. And it is not going through the exercise of suffering that makes us strong, but He will strengthen us, make us firm and steadfast.

Although we may not know why, we do know who is in control. He will not allow more than we can endure. With this knowledge, let us continue to carry our cross and follow Him for He who called us is faithful – and He carried a cross too…

Exits & Goodbyes
POSTED AT 03:36 PM in Ramblings

bungi

Today is my last day at my first real job. I have known that I will quit this place sometime, but that was always in the future. I came close to resigning twice in the last 22 months. Now I have actually come to the point where I have given in my resignation and am quitting. Phew!

I do not know what I feel. I am happy that I am moving out. Things got very ugly the past couple of months. There is definitly a sense of relief. But I do feel a twinge of sadness. I guess this is the sadness that accompanies almost all goodbyes. I remember the good times, successes and failures, things accomplished, the bruises and the lessons learnt, my friends through the journey…

I don’t feel bad that certain people have been mean to me. Well, I guess I have been mean to them too. This was meant to be – my quitting. This is time to move on. I don’t think I would have been willing to move out if things were all rosy like it was before. I have given the whole situation a decent chance to change. That was not to be.

This place will be close to my heart – my first real work place. Time has again come for me to spread my wings and soar… Yet another nest this bird flies out of…